I wrote this at 430 AM sitting in the airport, I’d just had a strong cup of coffee and was locked in! I must confess I’ve seen all the ‘X things I learned at X years of age’ posts, which was my inspiration and while we’re confessing, I haven’t read most of them. It just didn’t sing enough to hold my attention.

I turn 32 today (just out of my teens if we’re being honest) Life has had it’s share of ups and downs but the pros have outweighed the cons, which makes it a good, blessed life. As a wise friend told me, “It’s a privilege to become older”

You’re RESPONSIBLE for yourself

I learned this when I lost my father. Until that moment, I lived with the comfort of the psychological safety net, knowing if something went wrong, my dad was a phone call away. He was a fixer (God bless him) Suddenly, no one was coming to save me. It was terrifying at first, and eventually liberated me. I’m in charge. As the perpetually online Twitter folk say “You can just do things” The more agency you can hold, the happier you will be in life.

Stop OVER THINKING, just do the damn thing

I think I’m action-oriented. It grinds my gears hearing people talk about their plan, but never execute. I get it, it’s fun to plan and tell everyone how you’re going to lose those 10 pounds or how you’re going to hit your target. Life is outside the spreadsheet. Just fu*&ing START.

Stop COMPLAINING and limit your time around complainers

Pretty self-explanatory. You’re not going to raise their bar, but they will drag you down. Life is better around the optimists. It’s tough to be high-agency and be unhappy. You’re in charge after all!

EVERYONE is a peer

If you treat someone like a peer, they will treat you accordingly, including the people you admire tremendously. If you hero-worship someone, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Treating someone as a peer doesn’t mean you don’t learn from them, ask a lot of questions. I’ve been able to grab coffee with some amazing people and build relationships because I asked them and treated them as a peer. Don’t be intimidated.

Learning is FOREVER

AI is the flavour of the month(okay year) It will change the way the world works etc. This isn’t the first revolution and it won’t be the last. Keep upskilling, keep tinkering. Enjoy the process of learning new skills. Not every learning has to be for your career. Learn some things for pleasure. Fun fact: I just got my boating license and I’m working on my pilot license. I have no other motivation to do it except it’s cool as fuck.

Pick the RIGHT partner

I’m super lucky on this front. Here’s my fiancé, she makes (a good life) even more fun and makes me want to be better. Be with someone you can do routine stuff with and it’s exciting. Cooking together brings us a lot of joy. In our case , no such thing as too many cooks ;)

The world is becoming a BETTER place

The news cycle and social media will have you believing the world is imploding. The world isn’t perfect (who is) but we are objectively getting better every single year. Lifespans are increasing, fewer people are dying from poverty every year. Tech is enabling a better quality of life across the board. We don’t always see it because the bar keeps rising and social media will only reflect the negatives - that’s what drives views after all. We’ve got self driving cars, we’re going to Mars, come on! How can you not be excited?! (Not an Elon fan boy before you come at me)

Self-care is KEY

Self-care doesn’t just mean fancy baths or $100 candles (it can be a part but not the whole) It means taking holistic care of your mental and physical health. For me self-care is non-negotiable. For me it looks like 30-40 minutes of weight training 5 days a week, eating well 80% of the time, reading 15 minutes a day and getting a good night’s sleep. Doing these things helps me feel good and ensures I can be present in everything I do. Oh! Also, moisturize. That’s how I look young ;)

Aesthetics MATTER

We can talk about not judging a book by its cover all we want but it doesn’t change the fact that the way you look, the way you dress and the way you present yourself will decide what people think of you. I wish I had learned this earlier on. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but dressing well will make YOU feel better and make people take you more seriously. I wish this weren’t true but it is.

WALK outside

Go walk outside and get some fresh air. Nothing comes close to resetting your brain like a walk. Our elders are right, go out! The fresh air will do wonders. I love going for a walk by myself or with a friend. 30 minutes a day outside is truly a game changer. I go out no matter the weather, that includes the days it hits -30 C. Admittedly, those walks only last 10 minutes.

Everyone is on a JOURNEY

Everyone is on their journey. Most times, it won’t make sense to you. It doesn’t have to. Buying a house was a dream for my father because he had never lived in an owned home. It is not that important to me, because I did grow up in an owned home.

INVEST in people & relationships

Your success will mean nothing without community. If you don’t have anyone to share it with, what’s the point? Be the person that brings people together. Everyone is busy, initiate the conversation and host. Start small, invite someone to grab coffee with you, or dinner. It doesn’t require much effort - hosting a group for dinner doesn’t mean fancy dinner parties. Just order Ubereats (Promise I wasn’t paid) If you can’t afford to pay for the whole meal, split up the cost amongst the guests (your friends)

Be the anchor for your community. Someone has to do it, it might as well be you!

Do GOOD work

Whatever you do, do it well. If you believe you will be better at the next level of the role, but aren’t good at the current level , you’re not going to do well at the next level. You’re not going to make a good sales manager if you’re not a good seller. Promotions and pay raises are a lag indicator i.e you have to be performing at the next level for the money and title to catch up, not the other way around.

You don’t even have to be extraordinary, being consistently good will get you so far it’s not even funny. Most people are so focused on being smart that they forget they get paid for execution and results. Let execution be your superpower.

Have FUN!

We get one life, and tomorrow isn’t promised. No one described it better than Anthony Bourdain (Yes I am a fanboy) Fun fact: My answer to the popular “Which celebrity would you have dinner with?” has always been Anthony Bourdain.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!